Quentin Richardson Causes Unexpected Trouble for Pair of Celtics by Greg Adams

by Greg Adams

Thanks to a skirmish in Game 1 of the Boston-Miami opening round matchup, Kevin Garnett will be suspended for Game 2 of the series.

However, it turns out an offhanded comment may lead to further problems for KG and Boston guard Paul Pierce.

After the brouhaha, Miami Heat shooting guard/instigator Quentin Richardson popped off about Garnett and Pierce, saying, “I don’t know what was going on, two actresses over there—that’s what they are.”

Clever? Yes. Funny? Most definitely. Impugning? Apparently.

It turns out that KG and Pierce aren’t, among other things, current on their Screen Actors Guild dues.

SAG President Alan Rosenberg is apparently none too happy with the Celtic duo, according to an anonymous SAG source.

“He’s ticked. Really ticked. Those two want to go out and just play basketball? We’re fine with that. But all the other shenanigans the public has to put up with when they take the court? That falls under our umbrella. And our union needs their money, too,” said the anonymous source.

When pressed regarding the dues issue, smoke shot out of KG’s ears, his nostrils flared, and he screamed, “That’s none of your (expletive) business! What are you some kind of (expletive) (expletive) (expletive)?”

I’d never actually heard that combination of expletives before.

Pierce was too busy sobbing uncontrollably into a soft white towel to provide any substantive comment.

Rosenberg allegedly sent correspondence to the Celtics stars—a collections letter of sorts—in order to assist them in getting the dues paid current. I’ve been told the letters “mysteriously” found KG and Pierce’s File 13. Of course, this is journalism in 2010, so I’m relying on a lot of rumors and hearsay at this point.

When asked for a reaction regarding KG’s Game 2 suspension, Pierce finally had the sobbing under control enough to say, “It’s gonna be hard. I love that guy.”

“I can’t quit you, KG.”

AP wire reports assisted in making up this story.


Indiana Pacers Need a Different Type of Threat—Try Winning by Greg Adams
April 14, 2010, 11:20 am
Filed under: Greg Adams, Indiana Pacers | Tags:

by Greg Adams

I’m quaking in my overpriced kicks.

The Indianapolis Star’s Bill Ruthhart reported today that the Indiana Pacers “would consider all options—including moving the NBA franchise to a new city—if the city doesn’t agree to cover the cost to run Conseco Fieldhouse.”

Just how out-of-touch is the Pacers brass these days?

Before going too much further, let’s review some recent Pacers (and American) history. I thought it’d be fun to do some free association as to why the Pacers threat to move is poorly-timed and ill-conceived.

Wake Forest Men’s Basketball Head Coaching Search Ends at Nexus of the Universe by Greg Adams

by Greg Adams

Anybody up for a game of Whose Line Is It, Anyway: Deacon Edition?

Wake Forest “improv”ed it’s men’s basketball head coaching situation over the past week or so. The result is truly nonsensical but horribly unfunny.

Here’s a quick review of the pertinent facts for those unaware of—or indifferent about—the Demon Deacons’ head coaching situation.

Dino Gaudio takes over a Wake Forest program in peril after the unexpected death of Skip Prosser three years ago, proceeds to tally a 61-31 record over those three years, and signs a contract extension just six months ago that would take him through the 2013-14 season. While most college basketball coaching extensions aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on, if you’re Dino Guadio you have to be thinking you just recruited a highly-touted five-man class, and you’re just about to send your third player to the League in the past two years. Certainly you have a little job security. Right?

Why Joe West Is Right—and Wrong by Greg Adams

by Greg Adams

Major League Baseball umpire Joe West created a minor stir during baseball’s opening week when he criticized the Yankees and Red Sox for taking too long to finish games in spite of the umpires’ best efforts to speed the game along during the opening installment of “baseball’s greatest rivalry.”

The opener clocked in at 3 hours, 46 minutes. If the opening game sets the tone for the season, it’s going to be a very long year.

Much has been made about how West isn’t fit to be the torchbearer for this issue, citing his small strike zone as a reason games take so long. And while making pitchers throw more pitches never helps in shortening the game, this still seems to be a classic case of shooting the messenger.

The bottom line is, regardless of your opinion of West, he’s right. The Yankees and Red Sox are a disgrace. Not the teams themselves, but the games they play against each other. The Yankees and Red Sox, baseball’s marquee matchup for the past decade or so, aren’t doing the sport any favors by not getting on with it already.

Boston’s Dustin Pedroia responded to West, saying, “When we don’t do well in these games against the Yankees, we get killed. So if I’m going to take a deep breath and focus before I get in the box, I’m going to do it.”

I understand Perdroia’s point regarding the pressure he and his teammates are under; the problem is he’s hitting a baseball, not performing surgery. If he’s able to simply step into the box and hit against Baltimore, let’s give it a shot against New York, too. Humor me.

Baseball likes Yankees-Red Sox because people tune in to watch. That’s why the rivalry is spectacularly shoved down our throats all season long.

I happen to think the game garners great ratings (by baseball’s regular season standards) because the Yankees and Red Sox have two of the largest and proudest fan bases in the country. I think the hype surrounding the rivalry (and the reason baseball is under the impression that we all watch) is largely due to Yankee and Red Sox fans. They’re passionate. They love their teams. And they hate each other.

Despite my theory as to who exactly watches the Yankees-Red Sox regular season games, let’s just say—for the sake of argument—that the rest of us do, in fact, watch these games. Is it really in baseball’s best interest for their contests to last almost four hours?

I think it’s bad for baseball.

Between the NFL, NBA, and MLB, baseball has to deal with the largest disparity between ballpark and living room experience.

Baseball’s strength from a spectator standpoint is the ballpark experience. If you’ve been to a major league baseball game anywhere, you can attest to how fun the experience is. Baseball’s uniqueness and pace are definitive advantages.

My personal experience is that games taking upwards of four hours to complete are still excessive, but I can still rationalize that I’m getting my money’s worth. I still overpaid for a ticket if the game last 2 hours and 20 minutes, but I overpaid less if the game goes twice as long.

But blocking out four hours to watch one regular season baseball game on television? Out of the how many thousands aired each year?

Count me out.

That said, I also have a message for Joe West. While we’re on the subject of long games, why don’t you and your colleagues start calling “rulebook” strikes? This “just above the knees to the belt” nonsense is garbage. I think we could shave at least 30-45 minutes off the length of each game by adopting this strategy.

Maybe we could give the players time to step out of the box and think through their at-bats like they’re dismantling a bomb if the strike zone was actually enforced.

In other words, quit being part of the problem.

Regardless of what baseball does, if anything (the institution generally seems good at sitting on its thumbs but not much else), the next time I hear ESPN blathering on about the next great Yankees-Red Sox matchup on Sunday Night Baseball, I think I might just rent a movie. Or maybe a couple.

I should have plenty of time to play two.

Ball State Cardinals Football Team Spanked by Buttocks Slapper by Greg Adams

by Greg Adams

An open-handed fiend is terrorizing the backsides of Ball State University.

His latest victim? The Ball State University football team.

On April 7, 2010, which, from what I can gather, was a pretty slow news day nation-wide, reports surfaced regarding a “cupple” of incidents on the Ball State University campus involving a man on a 1950s-style bicycle and multiple female fannies.

The police were called. Two of the victims filed reports—which is cool. They should have. The university sent out a public service notice simply to warn students of the assaults—which turned out to be kind of uncool. But hey, they’re administrators. Cut ‘em some slack. They tried.

End of story. Right?

Well…not quite.

Like so many other stories here in the Information Age, this one began to take on a life of its own, thanks in large part to a combination of media oversaturation, a few industrious college students, and school administrators that just couldn’t let anything go.

The result?

The Ball State Football Cardinals are getting pushed around. Badly. Even by their own standards.

The students created a Facebook page celebrating the buttocks slapper. At this moment, the group numbers well over 9,500 fans.

Ball State’s football team has managed to draw close to 2,600.

Talk about a spanking.

Let me get this straight. Ball State football is so unpopular that a guy riding a vintage bike can palm-palm a few tushes on a Wednesday morning and by Friday night is outgaining the football team by right around 7,000 Facebook fans?

Rumor has it that the buttocks slapper is in talks with Nike negotiating a glove deal. Rumor also has it that I’m enjoying typing the phrase “buttocks slapper” way too much.

Efforts were going to be made to contact Cardinal head coach Stan Parrish, but I lost the napkin on which I’d written the reminder to e-mail him regarding his thoughts. That said, I have a pretty good feeling about what his response might have been.

University President Jo Ann Gora ripped into the creators of the Facebook page that made light of the incident. It appears that blowing the fan page out of proportion is largely responsible for the fan page blowing up. So, um, nice job, Prez.

Having throughly pummeled the backsides of the football team’s fan page, the “legend” is gearing up for its next opponent: Ball State’s organizational fan page. Which currently has over 15,000 fans. The buttocks slapper seems to have yet another derriere in his dirty sights.

With hands wide open.

Listening to Dan Dakich May Be Bad for Your Health by Greg Adams
April 7, 2010, 11:45 pm
Filed under: Greg Adams, Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

by Greg Adams

I’m starting to think the Dan Dakich Show needs to open with the following Surgeon General Warning: Listening to the Dan Dakich Show may be bad for your health.

Case in point: my lunchtime just got a whole lot more sedentary.

Double D: Sports Talk Radio Host/Potential Health Risk

I have an hour-long lunch break at work. I don’t really know why. But I do. And since I can only milk so much of an hour downing a peanut butter sandwich, an apple, and a glass of water, I decided to start walking for about 40 minutes a day at a mall close to where I work.

My lunch period lasts from 1-2 pm every Monday through Friday, and I listen to 1070 the Fan while I eat my lunch and as I drive from work to the mall. Which was never really a big deal.

Until this past Monday.

You see, for the longest time 1070 aired Colin Cowherd’s show during my lunch hour. I’d usually catch Colin in mid-rant on a topic I could have cared less about right around the time I was working on that apple.

My honest opinion is that Colin doesn’t hold the Midwest in general—or more specifically, the Big Ten—in the highest regard. Which is fine. But I’m a Midwesterner, I like the Big Ten, and I couldn’t give a rat’s tuchus about SEC football, the Yankees, Jets, Lakers, Dodgers, LeBron, Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, the West Coast, bookies, and SEC football.

Oops…did I already mention Cowherd loves SEC football? Faux pas!

Needless to say, although I don’t hate Cowherd’s show by any means, I could take it or leave it.

And it really was easy for me to leave it everyday in order to head into the mall to spend 40 minutes of my day being lapped by a couple of uber-intense 70 year-old guys wearing tracksuits and headbands.

And then came Monday, April 5, 2010.

I tuned in, not to hear Cowherd blathering on and on about transience or who knows what else, but to the sound of Dan Dakich breaking down the Butler-Duke matchup. We’re talking insightful, meaningful analysis for the most important game in Butler’s basketball history.

I never made it into the mall. Just sat in the parking lot. Listening to the Dan Dakich Show.

Same thing happened Tuesday.

And again today.

I’d listened to Double D a couple times, before his move to the 12-3 pm time slot. He used to be on from 10 am to noon and I only heard the show when I had the day off or had to take an early lunch for whatever reason. Great show. I listen to local sports talk radio because I want to hear about local sports. Or at least get a local perspective on national sport stories.

I don’t know why I find him so entertaining. Part of it is that he’s a coach to the bone. He doesn’t see the game the same way spectators—or even players— typically do. I have a feeling it would be really interesting to be in the room sometime as he breaks down game film.

But he’s also gotten to be really good at radio. He’s probably surrounded by a great team, but even so he does a great job interviewing various sports media guests and also does a really nice job with the callers.

I can’t imagine him doing this forever. I think coaching’s in his blood. I could see him walking away from the radio gig in order to coach again. I don’t know the man at all. It’s just a hunch.

But I hope it’s not anytime soon. I’ve gotta kill one whole hour every day. Who needs the mall, anyway?

So while my wife and my doctor are, in fact, really worried that I’ll “never walk again”, I’m more worried that some big school with a lot of money is going to stumble across Double D and decide to hire him on the spot.

Let’s face it. If Steve Lavin can land a head coaching gig based primarily on his tenure at ESPN, I don’t think anything’s totally out of the realm of possibility.

But man, if Dakich left 1070 to coach again…sigh.

Back to getting smoked by those 70 year-olds again.


Butler Bulldogs: A Heartfelt Thank You by Greg Adams

by Greg Adams

Thank you, Butler.

Thank you, Brad Stevens and Barry Collier.

Thank you for offering major college basketball another version of how to compete, be successful, and win. And for showing us there’s a better way. The Butler Way.

Thank you for proving to us that even a Division-I basketball star can attend class the day of the biggest game of his life. For allowing us to cling to the ideal that true student-athletes can still be part of the big revenue sports.

I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so much pride while watching a team play basketball.

I’ll tell my kids and my grandkids all about you. About the mid-major university who gutted a path all the way to the NCAA Championship Game. I’ll tell them that, even though I was only watching the game on television, I’m not sure I’d ever heard the Luke a-rockin’ like it did when Butler stood toe-to-toe with the Duke University Blue Devils and their Hall-of-Fame coach, three-headed perimeter scoring monster, and tremendous interior size.

I’ll tell them that Willie Veasley gave a valiant defensive effort on Kyle Singler while giving up a good six inches in height.

I’ll tell them that 6-8 Matt Howard worked most of the night against a 7-1 giant.

I’ll tell them how Gordon Hayward stroked two free throws after being yanked violently to the ground while attempting a layup—without uttering so much as a word.

I’ll tell them that a group of gritty kids, which included several native Hoosiers, were fearless against a national program.

Every year, for three weeks spanning from mid-March to early April, I look forward to the Madness.

I’ve never enjoyed a tournament so much. And my team wasn’t even in it.

I adopted you Butler, like so many from the Hoosier state. By the end of the tournament, we were completely swept away. While many of us got caught up in Cinderellas, Davids, and Hoosiers, you wouldn’t buy it. You were different. You believed you belonged all along.

In the end, we did too.

Though the loss stings for all of us, we can only imagine how it must feel for you, the players and coaches who have so diligently devoted your sweat, blood, time, energy and passion to make this season’s end result possible.

And we would be remiss if we did not heartily congratulate Duke University on its great accomplishment. You certainly made them earn it when others could not. In beating you, they proved to be a worthy champion.

The defining play I’ll remember from this year’s team won’t be Shelvin Mack stepping into an early three, Matt Howard running circles around Duke’s big men, or Gordon Hayward’s oh-so-close desperation heave at the end of the game.

What I’ll remember is Butler needing to create a turnover in the final minutes of the game while Willie Veasely guarded Duke’s Kyle Singler. He forced Singler to dribble right toward the baseline. With nowhere to go, Singler fired a pass along the baseline. Ronald Nored stepped in to pick it off. The steal led to two Gordon Hayward free throws.

There were five minutes to play in the game. But the whole sequence embodied everything we came to love about you. Hard-nosed defense, a turnover created off that defense, and points created off that turnover. Everybody knowing his role and doing his job. It’s what defined you. It’s why we loved you.

In the win-at-all costs culture we currently find ourselves, it’s often said that no one remembers who finishes second.

We’ll remember the Butler Bulldogs.

Thank you.